1. |
Don't Roll a Three
02:10
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Starting out the other night, we had a brand new game
I finally made a new character that wasn't quite the same
I needed to roll stats so I broke out my best dice
It’s really too bad that the rolls weren’t very nice
Chorus
Don't roll a three, those aren't the stats for me
I don't want to see those three ones in a row
Don't roll a three, it’s pretty painful to see
I need a reroll badly, don't you know
I sat there as the three piled up, looking sad on the sheet
I didn't want to have to take the penalty in defeat
How much I was shocked at this statistical anomaly
How on earth could this happen to poor old me?
Chorus
I flubbed quite a bit as I nudged the dice
Making sure the numbers came out really nice
The DM looked over and frowned at me
And wasn’t too happy for they saw that there was three
Chorus
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2. |
Hobgoblins
03:35
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Chorus
Hobgoblins! What do you give? What do you get?
Hobgoblins! Can you pay them the high price they wanna set?
Can you put them in a box? Can you teach them how to dance?
They will beat you with their clubs in their hideous advance.
Hobgoblins
We went out on a raid just the other day
The NPC who sent us out did not have much to say
She thought we’d find hobgoblins, so we’d best be beware
But we thought we would be ready so we didn’t prepare
We woke up the next morning and boarded our big boat
Sailing out across the sea much bigger than a moat
We hit the shore before the night grew darker with each moment
We thought hobgoblins would be paid for our atonement
Chorus
At the start of the day, we set a course by land
Each of us ready to fight, a weapon in each hand
When out from the woods we hear a battle cry so loud
And out come hobgoblins waving their clubs proud
We engaged the hobgoblins with swords at the ready
Despite their strong numbers our forces held steady
We couldn’t understand them but they put up a fight
And we were kept busy night after night
Chorus
During the fighting, our cleric yelled, “Stop!”
“I’ve got a lexicon I picked up at the shop.”
She told the hobgoblins to stop their fighting
So we put away our broadswords, our arrows and lightning
Now that we’ve seen all these fights to their ends
The hobgoblins and us are now quite good friends
So pull up a stool and take a swig of your ale
As we tell you the story of our hobgoblin tale
Chorus
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AstroTuna Santa Barbara, California
Moé sugar girls forever! Until we come up with something better... no wait, don't actually type that...
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